I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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