Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
