all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
