whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Jerry, you need to find god
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
