I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
operation harelip BJ is a go
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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