i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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