Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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