Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
