hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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