So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
