My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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