come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
