I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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