My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
two words...techno handjob
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
