I'm jealous of your bromance
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
