So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Randomize
