there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
