i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
