Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
