therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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