I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
