If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need to sanitize my soul.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
