So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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