we have officially lost it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
