We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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