My girlfriend figured out who you are.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
a search helicopter?!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
