My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
