Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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