Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The air was thick with penises
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
