Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
