And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
false alarm, still single
Randomize
