So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
