he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I understand Curling. That high.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's the barista slut.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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