dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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