To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
