I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm really busy with my period
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