Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
