She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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