Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
