He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
