WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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