either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
