did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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