thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
