i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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