Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So much Jack, so little girl.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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