Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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