Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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