I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
