I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
