I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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