we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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