Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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