Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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