For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
