Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
